Little Lost Girl

Once there was a little lost girl, she was lonely, she was sad, she lived her life with lies, she was lost. When she was younger, she hadn’t received much love, she felt left out, she felt as if nobody likes her, this little lost girl lived in loneliness. People called her a loser, a liar, people laughed at her. She was just a little girl, she was little and lost. She wanted to be likable, she wanted to be loved, she wanted to be appreciated, she wanted to feel wanted, she wanted to be luxurious because she thought it was the only way for people to finally like her. But no, they used her, and when she couldn’t give them their wants, they left her. She felt liquids starting to form on her eyes, and later, those liquids became teardrops. Her cries were silent at first, but became louder as time passes by.

Years had passed and it wasn’t that great for her, people didn’t stop laughing at her, they didn’t stop hurting her, a lot of people already left her, and she looked much more lost than she was before. She started to become even more lonely, she felt lazy to live, she wanted to fit in for people to like her, but she got even lost. She got tired of everything, she stopped caring about what others say, or at least she tried, so she chose the wrong path. She started to lie, she started to laugh hard for people to see how happy she was, even if it was fake. She didn’t care much about being late, she looked happy and free, but little did they know, she was dying of loneliness inside. She met people who she thought won’t leave, but still did. She trusted people who she thought was trustworthy, but all of them were just lessons. Years had passed and the little lost girl grew up, but still felt the same.

She was much more lost now, she started to smoke and drink liquors. She chose the wrong path, she didn’t care about being lost anymore, all she wanted was to be free and to escape the loneliness she feels. At night, she locks herself up in the room to prevent people from seeing her be lonely again, she lay down on her bed and that’s the only time where she let those liquids escape her eyes again. After a long day of pretending to be happy, she finally let herself breakdown and stop pretending. That became her almost every day ritual. Wake up, wear a mask, then lock herself up and then be true. After crying, she would open her laptop and type letters that will soon become poems, lyrics, or stories, it is one of her ways to escape the real world. She was scared that once they see her be lonely and broken, they would use it as an advantage to hurt her, or even worse, the people whom loves her will leave her if they saw her be weak.

She stayed like that for a long time, ‘till she got into a new school and became a Lionette. She met new people who made her feel loved and accepted, people knew her past but listened to her side before giving their opinions. She little by little started to be true, again. There’s a fear locked up in her heart that people would leave her again, but she’s starting to fight that fear of being left behind. She became active again, she joined varsities, showed her talents, started to smile and laugh again, and this time, it’s real. People started to like her, love her. And she realized that the people she met in the past that hurt her were just lessons to construct her into a better person, but she took it in a negative way. The little lost girl had two choices, either to go to the right path or the wrong path, the little lost girl chose the latter. But now, she’s finding her way back to where she came from, to finally choose the right path, and the little lost girl hopes that it’s not too late to make things right. The little lost girl wants to be found, the little lost girl is starting to find the way back, the little lost girl wants to stop being little and lost, she wants to be a lady. Once there was a little lost girl, and that little lost girl is me.

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